O so tired

I am exhausted for some reason. All I want to do is take a shower, put my pj's on, and rest! But the hot water got used for Abi's bath and dishes and I am being an nice mom by letting Andrew get the "new batch" of hot water. Wow, we sound like we are living in the dark ages. ha!

Today was pretty good. ELO went well. Getting off this morning was rough. The kids have not been listening to me at all. I felt like I was just barking orders but we really needed chores done before we left. I have to have help w/ the house. I cannot homeschool and keep this house in working order. Then Eric and I got into a "tiff" which upset Andrew. Ah, mornings are fun! I do not envy working mothers at all. I love the feeling of getting up, eating a leisurely breakfast together, and starting school at 8:30. When we have ELO it's "do this, do that, get out the door." This is w/ having their clothes laid out, backpacks ready to go, and me just taking a quick shower and throwing make up on. Oh well! ELO is worth it! I am just thankful it's not every morning! We had lunch at our friend Becky's house. It was so nice! They have the perfect backyard. One acre fenced in w/ a fort, a bit of woods and a little stream. I loved it! Then we went to piano, running late as usual. I ran errands, came home, did the chores we didn't finish this morning than sat down for a bit. I made the kids play outside this afternoon because the weather is not looking good for the next couple of days. We had a po' man's dinner of meat, beans and rice w/ cornbread. Abi wanted to know who po' man was. ha!

I have been reading 1 John lately. I love it but I just want to throw my Bible against the wall sometimes because it talks about loving your enemy, loving those who persecute you, loving like Jesus. I am trying so hard to do this. I think I have forgiven certain people for certain things but then it comes back.  We are all going to be in Heaven together so we should try to get along here.God calls me to love even the hardest people in the hardest of times. He calls me to forgive them. I know this can be only done through Him.  This is a season. I need to ask God to give me a heart of forgiveness and mercy. I have always had issues w/ that. I need to choose joy and happiness over bitterness and regret. I need to not place blame and to forgive what has been done.

That's enough of my ramblings! Wow, I bet I just really scared some people! But it does help to write down all my conflicting emotions! It's amazing how writing it down takes such a burden off of my shoulders. I love my family so much and I am so very thankful for the friends and family that God has blessed us w/. I pray that I will let God use the good and that He will get the glory.

Have a wonderful night and stay bundled up! Tomorrow is supposed to be cold and rainy. The kids and I have dentist appts. Pray for no cavities or any other major dental work. May you feel the love of Christ!